Yeah. We fail. We screw up a lot. We get confused and pressured. We become negligent and then regret it later. And yeah. The blood of Jesus always restores us and makes us new. It never fails and never loses its power.
So this week has gone mad. I was pressured---so pressured to find a job that I like and at the same time earn my preferred salary. I was pressured of the news that some of my friends are already hired and that they are doing what they like while earning and will have the chance to buy what they want.
I looked and looked and went to places I have never been to, to apply for a job that I believe I love. Yeah and so I believe. I love it because I know it will lead me to my dream---to be a director in maybe ten or more years later. And this job that I was looking for is to be a part of a production house. So I had the interview but I think it wasn't my best shot. I got frustrated. I screwed up the interview that I was supposed to nail. I screwed up the opportunity to be there, to work in that company----or so I thought?
Right. I was overreacting with the turn of events. And that is all because I thought it was just easy. I thought I know how to answer all the questions in the interview. And by the way, I was interviewed by an executive producer of a production house. I thought about nothing but my ability to communicate and express myself. I was so foolish. I became upset of this single event? How? How can this make me not want to look for a job anymore? That's how pathetic I felt about myself. I did pray. Yes I did. and I surrendered it to the Lord already. But during the interview, I just forgot that it is already in His hands and then I carried it again. And that was solely my fault. I thought I was great. I thought I will nail it. And then I realized that I should not be the one to be praised. I really shouldn't be. It should be God who is to be praised above all---least, me.
Then night came and I was still thinking about that day of the interview. And then I remembered what my friend told me, that maybe I was not meant to be in the job. I love writing and maybe applying in magazine company is the best for me. And then God told me that even though I get confused with what I really like, He still knows my heart better than I do. And that I should always find my happiness in Him and He will give me the desires of my heart (Psalms 37:4). And this verse from the Bible never fails. And He reminded me of his blood, Jesus' blood, that it always makes us new, that whatever sin we commit, like sin of worry or of anxiety or of fear or of anything, He is always there to wash us with His blood. He washes us with His blood for our sins to be forgiven. And His blood protects us from all things. It is the source of my strength and it overcomes all my fears. And the fear of every possible thing is being driven away by Jesus' blood, I do not have to worry about anything because the blood is my cloak.
The feelings of being confused, pressured, down, foolish and stubborn just slipped away, because whatever we do, as God's children, His blood will always restore and make us new. It is not right that after we have asked for forgiveness, we're still feeling foolish and stubborn. All we have to do is accept God's forgiveness and think of ourselves as what God thinks of us----His righteous children.
We must not let anything steal away our joy and peace given by God. My joy is complete because of Him. I shall not want anything but all things that come from Him. My heart is filled with gladness that I find in the Saviour's arms. Now I will not look for a job because I love it, I will look for it because I know God will do it because He knows very well what my heart wants though I am not sure of it sometimes. To let Him speak and rule over me must be what I will always remember. To praise Him above all things, in whatever situation I am must be my goal every moment of this life. And now I have a new goal: to stop the person that I want to be and to be the person that God wants me to be.
Praise God that He brought me closer and closer to Him in this new and strange part of my life right here..
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